I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
