Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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