is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
