..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize