billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
