I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
