my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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