How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i think im in europe. pls send help
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
