You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
