He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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