WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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