they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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