There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
