Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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