He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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