From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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