puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think your dad took our porno
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
