PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Who died my cat blue again?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
