He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
