4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
