so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
