I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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