she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
