I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
