i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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