True but thats because hes a fetus.
Screwed.edu
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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