I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
