dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
