How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
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