I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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