dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
