So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
