Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
BRING THE BAGELS
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
