I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Terrible idea I love it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
