well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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