So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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