First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
cat food counts as protein by the way
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
