So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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