he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
