Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize