It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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