Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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