You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize