nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
