Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
