I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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