I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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