i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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