Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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