Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize