Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
