is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Randomize
