We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
