your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
