just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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