is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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