You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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