Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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